The Irony of Healing: Laughter is Good Medicine
Ironic: happening in the opposite way to what is expected,
typically causing amusement. ~Siri
"Having a good laugh is like putting down a heavy load and sighing with relief at how
light you feel." Day by Day: A Treasury of Meditations on Mindfulness
"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful." ~Bob Hope
I'm not gonna lie, but I am bothered by how much it irks some people that I want to share very personal things. However, it is ironic to be bothered by other people being bothered. Humor allows for a loosening of the reins and lightening up, which is why it is a great companion on the healing path. Even the act of baltering (as illustrated above) points to the joy found in dancing "gracelessly" for pure amusement, which is the opposite of what's expected and exactly why enjoying dance and music are also great companions on the healing path.
To see the irony in life is a great gift, a survival skill you will want to teach your kids. It means that you can take a step back and let loose: laugh, awkwardly dance, step out of yourself for just a moment, and let in that crack of light or breath of air. While it is really irritating to hear someone tell you to "chill" or "relax", when you embrace irony those things will come to you naturally of your own choosing. Inviting it in just might lighten your load filling your weary mind with levity, new direction, and renewed purpose. The beauty of finding what makes us laugh is personal and you get to customize it to what resonates for you. If you've ever found someone in your life that "gets" your sense of humor, you know how much of a connection that gives you. It's not just a personal connection but a connection to a whole point of view that can be shared through books, music, movies, knowing glances, and so on. Just like you can sing love songs to yourself, it's pretty great to find a humorous connection to yourself (I've been known to throw myself a knowing glance when I find just the right joke)! For example, although this eventually turns into a more serious poem, I loved the irony of questioning whether we have to always honor the old adage of the fruit falling far from the tree:
The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree
but let’s hope
that’s not all true.
Let me pick which
parts or how
far to fall.
If the tree could only
respect this unnatural
selection, I would
be grateful.
Let me hold on to the straight
teeth and curly hair, and
order up his legs and
her green thumb.
Cut the freckled skin,
bitter tongue, and…
excerpt from "The Fruit Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree…", In Your Bones
While I have talked a LOT about the things that get in the way of healing (addictions, negativity, fear, noise, etc.), not having a sense of humor might be one of our biggest roadblocks. In nurturing your own sense of humor you are encouraged to not take anything too seriously and get a greater understanding of what matters most being able to laugh everything else away. Laughing, or even just smiling, does something magical. I guess that's why thousands have been lining up on social media to watch the Earl of Dad Jokes, Lucas Alifano, who can't get through a stupid joke without his own giggling getting in the way while many of us get the biggest kick out of just watching him laugh. He is living proof that sometimes humor for humor’s sake is exactly what we need. Healing and humor don’t have to go hand in hand, and yet, it is amazing how many times they are intertwined. I haven't seen anyone marry the power of humor in healing more masterfully than comedian Hannah Gadsby in her 2018 comedy special Nanette and in her own take on comedy. I recently attended a beautiful memorial service where I was also reminded how close comedy sits to tragedy. Somehow holding them together makes each more poignant. For almost two hours we laughed and cried our way through the memories of a beautiful life and it seemed like it was meant to be that way, at least sometimes. Often at the most important times.
The bottom line is we need humor to accompany us on this rocky journey of life, no matter what state we find ourselves in.
If you catch me on FB or IG you will see that I often post jokes, cartoons, and music of all sorts. I'm not trying to convince you that I can be fun (although that would be nice, ha!). I'm doing it because humor has always been a part of my healing, as much as writing poetry. It's also amazing that, like poetry, there is music of every kind and jokes for every taste. Finding something that soothes or humors you is as healing as creating a customized playlist of all your favorite "hits". In other words, the sounds, rhythms, and ironies that resonate with you are yours alone. It's all about knowing what makes your divine self tick and building your healing, and your life, around that. That fits right in with my belief in customizing your healing journey (i.e. The Forgiveness Poems, "ETA" from When You Know). And I love the irony of taking a trait and giving it human characteristics like in this poem:
Pity Full
Pity is a poor excuse for a friend.
It is the one who always has to be seen sitting beside
you but won’t stay for the whole time.
It is the vice principal who may be on the lookout to
save you from your vices but doesn’t want you to show
up in the office on Friday afternoon after 3.
They are all the ones who want you to think
they always know better:
The surgeon who left a pair of scissors in you
The chef who won’t shut up and let you chew
The masseuse who leaves you tense
The teacher who leaves you dense
The stylist who won’t listen and says you look great
The virgin who doesn’t even know why she’s late
The dog who doesn’t need a walk
The extrovert refusing to talk
The predictable cat
The unwelcome mat
The ones who provide you with an 800 number
that’s been disconnected that you can’t
even remember.
May it all be so (in unexpected ways causing you some amusement)!
